Deep insights, revelation and hard truths came in torrents as seasoned marriage experts bisect the misconceptions about marriage and proffer recipe for an enduring marriage at the just ended 10th edition of Kingdom Men’s annual flagship MegaSummit.
In a session that had four speakers – Pastors Iyke and Chioma Ejimofor, Dr Pastor Femi Albert Oduwole (Presiding Pastor, Triumphant Nation Everywhere), Pastor Adedayo Fajimi (Founder, A More Sure Word Ministry) and anchor person, Rev Elekima Ekine (Resident Pastor, CCIC Ibadan, Oyo state), speaker after speaker unveiled the hidden truths about marriage, red flags that couples often ignore before and during marriage and some of the ingredients that sustains and makes marriage a joyful experience.
According to seasoned marriage experts couple, Pastors Iyke and Chioma Ejimofor of the Living By Design Couples Fellowship, for any marriage to last and be enjoyable, the partners must have it at the back of their mind that they are on a journey.
And that the main drivers of a successful marriage are wisdom and understanding.While exploring the four dimensions of love of Eros, Agape, Philia and Storge, their strengths and weaknesses, the Ejimofors agreed that the most consistent of these four is the Agape love that loves without inhibition or conditions of any kind. Although the man occupies a prominent role in the home and in the marriage institution, as the head he must constantly acknowledge and recognise the equally important role of the wife who is that neck which he cannot do without.In his deep insight on the marriage journey, Pastor Fajimi defined love in four contexts and they are perceptions that could pose challenges if not properly understood by the two persons in marriage. The contexts are: Love as Love is in Measures, (therefore there has to be an understanding that love is not static but has the ability to grow), Love comes with Meanings, (everyone has a definition for love therefore there should be no room for assumption. Couples must ask and understand the question of Why did you marry me?) Love and Mind-set (this is key in the school of love. Marriage must not be transactional rather, as commanded by God, love among couples is not predicated on whether she is good or bad). And Love in the context of Modelling (the picture in our minds plays a key role in our love management hence, manhood comes with responsibilities husband on the other hand comes with a higher cost because it is not to the man that God commands to love his wife rather, it is to husbands – Ephesians 5:25).Presenting marriage in a fresh perspective, Dr Oduwole admonished men to have a clear understanding that in marriage, a man cannot reap a harvest where he has not made an investment. This investment in the marriage, the wife must also be extended to the children and men are admonished to express their love to the children.Dr Oduwole identified the major shortfall in the 21st Century marriage arrangement as its transactional nature which tend to negate the original plan God plan for the marriage. He encouraged couples in a marriage to be themselves and encourage each other along their areas of strength. In identifying the challenges in marriage especially in the context of changing times, the panellists were of the opinion that when couples are close to God, they recognise each other as gifts from God.They admonish couples to be intentional in doing things together otherwise, they are most likely to grow apart. They must also recognise that they are in a long journey with marriage.Effective communication was also identified as a key component of a marriage that must work. According to the speakers, truthful communication among couples promotes not only understanding but it engenders good and healthy sex life; there is no ready-made husband or wife and husbands and wives must not speak their language to their partners rather, they ought to learn their partner’s language.Other key ingredients that guarantees successful marriage include: avoiding false expectations from a partner, focusing on each other’s negative past, empathy in marriage as a way of easing tension and unnecessary quarrels (couples should put themselves in each other’s shoes), etc.In conclusion, the session encouraged couples to always have forgiveness for each other as a pre-condition in marriage, they must cultivate each other’s friendship and above everything, pray together as prayer of agreement is one of the known keys to a strong and enduring marriage.
